finally

a pleasant vibration hummed through my skin, making all the hairs of my body dance on end. it was her voice again in my ear. tinny and distant through the speaker by my ear. it had been almost five weeks since i’d seen her last and it seemed like an eternity, the way a minute must feel to a scoop of ice cream on a hot summer sidewalk. i would wonder if there was any way i’d be able to reconstitute myself again. or if i would liquify underfoot and be spread about in a sticky stain. oh how i yearn for her still.

i wonder sometimes if things have a built-in order of complexity to them. an automatic ratio of smooth-goings to bumpy-times. this ratio cannot be meddled with nor altered. it is your recipe for disaster or glory, depending on how you look at it and put the pieces together. my orders of complexity seem to revolve around debt and unfinished business.

today i’m sitting in my hotel room two thousand miles from the woman i love so completely. from my window i watched fireworks explode in a spectacular ever-aweing display of color and light. the concussion of the explosions set off car alarms and rattled my lungs in my chest. i felt them in my stomach and my heart. in my mind’s eye i could see her on the opposite coast clapping her hands together and squealing with excitement. her grin practically devouring her face and her eyes squeezed into tight little slits with gleaming bits of wet green shining through. Oh how she loves a good fireworks show.

but then the fireworks were over and the only sound rattling my heart was her voice, making it quiver and skip a beat from time to time.

an approximate measure of soul