the power of the subconscious

i'm listening to The ORB.

 

or as my co-workers would refer to it: my california hippie noise. but they don't really know what they are talking about... to them, california = hippie. they think all californians do is surf, drink wine, eat granola, protest stuff, smoke pot, and go to raves.

 

we do other stuff... i'm sure... anyways...

 

i'm listening with my frankenphones... also known as the really-great-earphones-that-i-broke-and-was-sad-then-fixed-and-was-happy.

 

i'm happy today because, once again, i broke my headphones and then i fixed them. actually, i broke them yesterday at the gym. my headphones were hanging out of my shirt as i talked to a buddy of mine at the bench press. it is polite gym etiquette to remove one's earphones when talking to someone so i had taken them from my ears. somehow, when i laid down on the bench and started exercising my relatively less-than-massive chest, my frankenphones worked their way over my sternum, directly under the barbell that was loaded with the less-than-impressive weight. when i lowered the weight to my chest and heard a pop, i wasn't too concerned. i often hear pops and cracks associated with belabored movements. it wasn't until after when my buddy reached down and picked up the insulted audio accessory that i realized what had happened.

 

but have no fear dear reader. i had some experience with this particular malady and i knew just what to do. for only two dollars i acquired a handy dandy applicator full of super glue and a roll of scotch tape. using my ever useful leatherman pliers and a wooden coffee stir stick, i managed to reattach and splint the beloved frankenphones back to a operable condition. it only took a slight drilling motion with a miniature screwdriver to break through the thin veil of glue that i, once again, managed to seal across the entire tube.

 

VOILA! auditory perfection once again, and this time with only a modicum of anxiety.

 

the subconscious effects of this event, however, would not become apparent until late that night, when deep asleep...

 

the dream began as a fairly innocuous one. i was sitting in a chair listening to my headphones, when suddenly i could feel something was wrong with my right earphone. i couldn't hear any music, although i could still feel it in my ear. when i reached up to my ear, i realized that the ear flange had broken off inside my ear.

 

at first i didn't panic. in fact, i laughed. it seemed pretty absurd to lose a earpiece inside your ear. i tried to grasp it with my fingertips, but to my astonishment it slid farther in. now i started getting a little nervous... out came my leatherman with it's ever useful pliers. i reached in my ear with pliers trying to gripthe end of the flange, but with each poke i felt it sliding slightly farther in, until finally it fell into my head.

 

the sound it made was similar to what you would hear if you pushed a cork into an empty wine bottle.

 

now i was more than nervous, but it simultaneously occurred to me that i was sticking something in my ear that was SMALLER THAN MY ELBOW! nevermind that i had just pushed a small plastic and rubber piece into my head... i was sticking pliers into my ear. luckily i happened to have a suitably large (elbow sized) pair of pliers close at hand and i tilted my head to one side and tried to grab hold of the flange with them instead.

 

now imagine, if you will, a person trying to remove the cork from inside the wine bottle with a pair of pliers the size of bolt cutters.

 

that was me. jumping up and down with my head tilted right in a frenzied swimmers ear hop with a massive pair of pliers stuck to my ear. meanwhile the little piece of jetsam was bouncing around inside like a pachinko ball.

 

never underestimate the power of the subconcious my friends.

 

and don't run with scissors

 

i'm now going to find some granola and practice my killer glowstick moves.

 

peace out