when i was in school, i would lay on my back in the grass, close my eyes, and stare at the sun through my eyelids. it was a kind of mindless meditation. no breathing, no imaging, no relaxing, just the infinite shades of red orange yellow and black.
the colors were almost blinding. it hurt my eyes at first. it seemed too bright, as if i didn't trust my eyelids to hold out the fire. then i would settle down. my eyes would slow and focus on infinity. i would shrink inside a womb of skin and feel the heat radiate into me as the colors danced across my vision.
one by one, on the back of my neck, the blades of grass, that i had compressed as i laid down, started to push back.
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