vortices

so these are old memories. from a time in sedona. i was just walkin down memory lane earlier, as i have a penchant for that kind of thing... from time to time

dogs

so i used to have a dog... i've had a couple of them acutally... by 'having a dog' i mean that my parents had dogs and i played with them and picked up dog poop in the backyard... when i was older i even fed them... but the primary dog-rearing was done by the primary child-rearers... the dogs themselves put up with me more than anything else.

now that i'm almost a grown up myself, it is almost second nature to want to bring a little four legged buddy back into my life.

right now is not the time for this to happen. however, that is not to say that i can't prepare for the eventuality when this does happen.

so i bought a dog book... how to understand dogs and that kind of stuff. it was highly instructive, and very interesting. if anything, it reinforced the fact that right now is MOST DEFINITELY NOT the time to bring a dog into my life, but i think it has also brought me a few more steps towards dog-preparation.

one of the things that it has made me reconsider is what kind of dog to get. it is easy to pick out a breed based on what it looks like or what the breed is known for... i think a lot of people pick out dogs that reflect who they think they are.

the problem is that the dogs will probably reflect those attributes... but that might not be who that person is.

i'm all about optimism and projection, but there is most definitely a gap between the world where people think they live and the actual world they live in... myself included.

so who am it? what kind of dog would i best belong to?

i don't know. while driving down the road to the beach with a beautiful rhodesian ridgeback sticking his head out of the window of a vintage bio-diesel converted land cruiser may sound romantic, do i have the personality or lifestyle to adequately meet that animal's needs? (exercise, social time, regular schedule?)

i don't know.

then i ask myself... am i a purebred kind of guy? or a mutt kind of guy? am i a big dog guy? or medium or small? do i spend hours training my dog to do cool stuff like find the remote control? is it an outside or inside dog? am i the kind of guy who gets a puppy and raises it from scratch? or would i adopt an 8 year old dog from a shelter?

so many questions.

good thing it will be a long while before that day comes.

it's kind of like the equivalent of studying for the SAT when i'm in third grade.

i'm kind of fiending for a milkbone.

and sometimes...

and sometimes, after i finish dancing, my water goes out.

it's a strange thing to say, "my water goes out," unless you take it in the same way as, "my power went out," i.e. i have no water.

for anyone who has lived through a hurricane or tornado or severe earthquake, this may not seem so odd.

apparently, nor is it odd to anyone who lives in my town... it being wednesday and all.

gotta love italy.

i've got to go find a beer to brush my teeth with... ciao bella

sometimes

sometimes i dance.

i’m not embarrassed about it one bit. sometimes i dance.

sometimes i wave my arms in the air and run in place.

sometimes i throw back my head in a silent leaky-eyed howl.

sometimes i can’t stop smiling and with a flick of the wrist the master valve on my heart is turned full open and the flood surges through my muscles and bones to my fingertips and toes, shaking my soul with the vibrations of it’s release...

it does not matter if there is no one to see...

i still dance.

sometimes.

imagination and beef stew

no. i'm not in hawaii right now. but that isn't to say that i can't pretend i am.

i'm actually at home, cooking beef stew. it's taking a while, but i suppose that is because good things are hard to rush. my stomach, however, has been rapping against my abdominal cavity for quite some time. the last thing i ate was a sandwich around lunch time.

i'm somewhat locally famous for my sandwiches... not because they are delicious... although they are... but rather because they are hidden in various pockets on my person for emergency use throughout the day. people think it is humorous... i think it's practical.

you never know when you might need a sandwich... or a breakfast burrito for that matter... i have pockets for those too.

one can never have too many pockets for assorted sundries.

that's my thought of the day... from me... to you.

totally related side story to the previous post

starting with a totally unrelated side note:

this belgian beer is Damn good... that's with a capitol D, if you didn't get it. i suppose that's what you get when you get a bunch of monks together to make a 10% beer.

mmmm

anyway. so...

i'm driving on a side road to Tuscany last saturday. somehow, i managed to travel 160 miles in the first two hours and only one mile in the third hour. it seemed like a sign that i was supposed to take the road less travelled, and so i did.

the thing with italy is... there is a thing called "Riposo" where everything closes for a couple of hours in the afternoon... generally between noon and 2pm... but it could vary by a few hours in either direction.

so i'm driving on SS64, which is a small state route that runs through the hills/mountains of NW Tuscany. absolutely gorgeous drive. the road wound through the tiniest villages in along the deepest river gorge with little stone footbridges that connected the road to teeny houses across the river. were i more comfortable with my masculinity i might even say that it was something straight out of a fairy tale, complete with trolls and winged godmothers.

green green, everywhere there's green.

so anyways, i'm driving around a particularly turny turn and my car starts beeping at me.

that's fine, beep away, i thought. the only thing that worried me was the the beeping (which had started happening lately) was accompanied by the OIL light... and it didn't stop beeping for about 20 seconds.

it had come on in the previous month, but only when i went around a particularly agressive corner. being the dependable little VW POS that it is, i thought its german engineered oil system just couldn't handle the incredible lateral G-forces that i was able to command from the old squeeky tires.

nope... the oil was just low.

long story longer, i pulled into the first gas station i saw and asked the old guy that i came across if the station was open for business as i needed both fuel and possibly oil as well, if it wasn't too much trouble.

literally, i pointed at the gas station and said (in italian) "closed?"

my italian is that good.

that's when i noticed the old guy standing in the doorway with a padlock in his hand. i looked at my watch and realized that if i had shown up two minutes later they would have been closed.

so i get my gas and check my oil... that's funny... usually i can see some on the stick... i was going to buy two liters of oil, but i thought better of it and bought three... at 12 euro per liter... luckily our dollar is so strong and it only cost 50 dollars.

my suspicions were confirmed when the engine swallowed two litres without flinching.

that's the end of the story. the light and beeping have not returned. the little engine is quite happy with it's haute couture tuscan oil, and i made it the rest of the way.

man... this beer is good.

two cups of thunderstorm and a dash of beer

currently, i am sitting at home, looking out the window at the thunderstorms that managed to sneak in overnight.

this morning was the most impressive. i was up at 5:30, just as it was getting light... except it wasn't very light. the sky was rather dark actually, and strobing with a most impressive array of lightning.

if there is one thing that i will miss when i leave here, it is the incredibly capricious weather.

i am more accustomed to thunderstorms that take their time building up through the morning and afternoon until about two or three when they vent all that pent up emotion and bang their fists across the countryside... it is indeed a most volitile storm that decides to begin before the sun has even risen.

so where did you spend the day patrick?

in a tower of course... the highest point for miles and miles around... with ten foot windows that look in every direction. i was so lucky to have such a dramatic vantage point for such an emotional sky.

but now i am back home, and the last of the storms are withering away and leaving a wake of blue skies behind. it's a wonderful view to enjoy with a fine belgian beer... and so i am enjoying it with said beer. Nelly McKay is joining me on my speakers.

a veritible splenditude of sorts.

the picture is from this past weekend... completely unrelated, as with most things in my life. i succesfully braved the italian intrastate structure to find myself in Lucca, outside of Pisa. my mother (hi mom) is hanging out with a couple of friends at a villa in Tuscany about 20 south of Firenze. they were in Lucca for the day and so i drove down to join them, it being a saturday and all.

i drove five hours (traffic) and found a parking spot. i had talked to her about an hour before and they were sitting down to get a bite to eat "in a square by a big church." so i walked into the town looking for the biggest church i could find. what do you know? i found a square with a bunch of people eating outside. surely they had to be somewhere around. my suspicions were verified when i noticed an open air bazaar in the square... they were definitely there somewhere.

luckily i am naturally endowed with a rather high vantage point. after only a few scans of the crowd, there she was... mom... perusing the expensive and throroughly unnecessary section. i walked up to her as she perused a particularly interesting piece. she must have sensed someone behind her because she said, "well that's cute, isn't it?"

"it sure is." i said

you can imagine she was quite surprised.

little did she know that is one of my little talents... driving somewhere without directions and finding exactly who i'm looking for with no particular plan. silly mom.

anyway, the picture is of the lake where we went to watch 'Tosca' at the Puccini festival... it was sold out, but we ate dinner at a restaurant by the lake and listened to as much of the opera as we could.

mainly it was just cool to hang with the ma

anyways. that's it for now.

much love and beautiful skies to you.

slovenia

august now

I’m not quite sure where July went, but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t invited, because August and I are sitting here in a daze and I have no clean laundry.

Whoever said that time goes by when you are older… they weren’t kidding. I now count years off on my fingers instead of months… both looking forward and back. Mom is probably reading this and thinking… just you wait.

Hi mom.

I had lost the will to write for a while… it happens… life gets a little hectic and things fall out. Maybe I didn’t feel very bouncy and optimistic and didn’t want to whine too much, or focus on negative thoughts. Maybe I didn’t feel grounded enough to be able to relax in front of the screen and open my mind. Sometimes I get a antsy and anxious feeling and I just can’t emote. Poor Heather has to deal with it all the time. Recently we rediscovered our mutual love of cooking. Instead of mac an cheese, I was buying all-purpose flour and yeast… we made bread. We made pizza and pizza sauce. We made gnocci. We drank wine (a much neglected step in cooking). We bought more cheese than we could possibly eat… of a handful of varieties… and then we sat down with some bread and wine and devoured it all with big cheesy grins and distended bellies.

i’m listening to Death Cab for Cutie’s album Plans.

You should too. It’s a fantastic album all around. Good for all people. It’s especially good at full volume in the car with the windows down and shiny bits in your eyes and a full breath of air in your lungs.

I’m not saying it’s cosmic or anything. I’m not saying it’ll change the world or anything… but it just might change your day and that just might be enough.