i find that in my profession (working for the man) there is often a feeling that one needs to forever strive to achieve a certain level that otherwise floats above the average person's head. not everyone will make it to that level, but they are expected to want that final goal just like everyone else. woe to the person who makes it known that they could care less about achieving that order of status, for they shall be smitten and cast aside in the 'lesser jobs.'
in layman's terms: drink the kool-aid... or else.
well, i don't know about you, but i don't really like the taste of kool-aid... it's too sugary... and it turns my lips pink. i'd rather have water, or tea, or coffee, or a beer... mmmmmmm... beer.
apparently though, kool-aid is the generally accepted and government endorsed beverage of choice.
MOST of the time, this isn't a factor... the kool-aid gets passed around and you smile and offer your cup, and after big brother passes on, you make a grand gesture with one hand as you fling the kool-aid behind you with the other.... for the most part, this is highly successful.
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE though, big brother hands you a cup of kool-aid and waits for you to drink it right in front of him. these are the moments i fear. they are the moments when i wonder if my smile is faltering. when i wish i could control that insidious twitch in my left eye. when i hope i don't gag, or worse yet, vomit my kool-aid in a high arch for all to see.
lately though, i wonder if i shouldn't just look someone in the eye and tell the truth... 'no, i'm not interested in your silly kool-aid... that's great that you love it so much, but it's not for me... i prefer (insert favorite beverage here).'
but in the meantime, i don't... i drink it... i smile... i ask for another glass please and i lick my lips and rub my tummy and say, 'gee, isn't that the best kool-aid EVER! EVERYONE should want some.'
it is the little things like these, these little facades, that frustrate me... and somewhere deep inside of me, i wish i could just blow it off and say, 'hell if i care.'
the overall most confusing thing is.... i'm not sure if i don't.
1 comment:
Amen about the kool-aid! Though every time they force it down me, I find myself thinking I like it... Thankfully that state of mind never lasts for too long, but it always leaves me feeling slightly perturbed that I am so easily swayed.
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